I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
