He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
