I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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