so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
