I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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