Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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