you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
