Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
