i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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