ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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