Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
