Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
