So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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