I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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