He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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