after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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