Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
