Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
