stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
