i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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