508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize