I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
