I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
