what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
