I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Randomize
