i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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