He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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