i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He better not be in your backpack
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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