I am puke
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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