I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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