Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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