i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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