I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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