There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
