Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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