john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
