3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
