I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You smell like stripper and shame
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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