we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize