im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
