id be glad to
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
