this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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