u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
