you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
How many fucks given?
0.12846
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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