So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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