I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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