i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
