pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
