dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
