The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
