Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
